Mom gets a lot of junk email. She tells us that if you’ve got an email address, you’re gonna get junk mail, spam and what she calls “forwards” from other people. I see her hitting the DELETE button a lot. She mostly doesn’t read them because she’s so busy she just doesn’t have the time so she’s real picky about opening most of the junk mail and forwards. But every now and then I see her sitting in her “puter chair” laughing, chuckling or smiling and sometimes even crying because she’s just gotten an email forward that has something that caught her eye and instead of deleting it, she actually reads it.
One day we sat her down and had a little talk with her (batting our baby browns and putting on that “please” face that gets her every time didn’t hurt either). Some of this stuff she gets is pretty good and we wanted her to share it with others. We figured if it was something that looked good enough for her to read, then maybe it’s something that should be shared. There’s so much on our web site that deals with the bad and the sad that we thought it would be nice if we added some fur fun and enjoyment and maybe some stuff that just serves to touch someone’s heart.
So here you go folks, our “Just Fur Fun” section is officially open! If you have something you’d like us to add, woof it into our and we’ll see about having Mom put it on the web site. Most of the time we won’t know who actually wrote these, so we are not taking credit for
TEN PET PEEVES DOGS Have About Humans
- Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!!
- Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for ‘the big snip’, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who’s boss here! You don’t see me picking up your poop do you?
Every dog has his day. A dog always offers unconditional love, cats have to think about it!
To God FROM The DOG
Let me give you a list of some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
- I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
- The litter box is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
- I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
- The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
P.S. When I get to Heaven, do I get my testicles back?